7 Months

So, the balance of time has tipped I feel and the countdown to the 1st year anniversary has begun. Hmm.

It’s been a funny old month - away in Patsy for half-term and although overall it was good I had a bad morning on the last full day. Clearing up ready for an early departure I was overcome with such an intense feeling of loneliness - something I’d never experienced in Patsy since  I’ve been touring on my own. It passed of course and I had a very enjoyable afternoon meeting up with friends from Brighton for football in the evening but it returned again in the pub before the match and during the match itself. I contemplated leaving early but again, as always, it passed.

The weekend saw me head up to Cambridge for a birthday party which was really good fun, although there was the inevitable twinge of sadness as Trev would have enjoyed it so much. The floodgates opened again the evening I got home, like having to endure some hideous emotional version of a bush tucker trial, almost as if I was being punished for having a good time,

I was back in Cambridge on Tuesday for the funeral of Trev’s sister Maggie, who had passed away after a long illness, but still far too young at 62. I debated going - it was at the Crem and I feared a reaction, but I wanted to go and it was important to do so, not least because it’s what Trev would have wanted. I did find my mind wandering though to the last time I was there - where I sat, the photos, the words, the music and the people. I’m aware that there now often seems to be a delayed emotional reaction to things like this but so far, none has come.

Right, to this months photo - Trev of course, being watched over by Teddy. Teddy was a Christmas present from Trev’s elder sister Rosemary when we moved into our first home together - so at 17 he’s getting on a bit too! Trev had two Labradors - one after the other, both called Teddy - and we talked lots about getting a dog ourselves.

The photo was taken at Christmas and was at the Cherry Hinton club site in Cambridge but I can’t place the year - 2014 to 2017 is the nearest I can get.