6 Months

Six months? Half a year he’s been gone and in some ways it feels longer than that. When I’m feeling ok, getting on with stuff - work, domestic chores and so on, it seems longer. It seems normal - which of course now it is - the new normal. It’s not like he was never there but it can feel like a lifetime ago we were sharing a great life, enjoying each others company and making memories. Then I’m getting on with life.

And then, there’s the other times, when I’m feeling low, August 1st 2018 seems only yesterday. The sense of loss, the emptiness, his physical absence hits really hard. The unfairness, the cruelty of someone who was basically a good bloke being denied the chance to enjoy his hard earned retirement. Then I  wallow in the sadness and the tears and my loss. Last week brought with it the longest ‘low’ period since the early days at the end of the Summer, but thankfully it passed.

I’ve said many times, that’s just ‘how it is’. Time is a great healer it is said and I’ve no doubt that’s true but grief does tend to catch you out.

There’s been a few things happening at work this term which would have made Trev chuckle or more likely roll his eyes and give an opinion on – as he did with most things. So many times, when hearing of the latest gossip recently, the thought has popped into my head – “ I must tell Trev that” and even before I’ve finished thinking it, realise that I can’t. It happened for a long while after Mum died and I don’t doubt it will be the same with Trev. Still one of the times I miss the most is the Friday evening ‘debrief’ over a meal and a couple of pints when we dissected the working week. Believe me, we’d have so much to talk about at the moment. If only.

So, on to this months photo. Taken in 2011 on what was our last cruise. That wasn’t the cruise ship though - we'd docked at Dubrovnik in Croatia and having been up the cable car and a look at the old town we took to the water on a beautiful 19th century vessel for a ride around the the coast. One of the best cruises we ever did I reckon but the last before Patsy came along. Something I’d like to do again one day.