This is my original blog for all our non-caravanning trips since 2009 and more recently posts about coming to terms with being single again having been widowed in 2018. And anything else too really!

My caravanning blog is (Get Your) Legs Down and all our trips in the caravan are there. My grog blog is The Ale Archive where I list every beer I’ve ever tried.

Tuesday, 28 August 2018

A Single Life

Right, if you've got this far and weren't put off by the title, you are reading something of a rarity. You see whilst I've been knocking out blog posts with varying degrees of regularity on my caravanning blog Get Your Legs Down, this is the first for many years that is exclusive to A Load of Nonsense.

I debated long and hard over the title - as I often do, but to be honest I couldn't find anything more suitable because it does suggest what this blog is about - my new life as a single person. Or Widow to be precise. I guess that makes me the Blogger in Black Widow then….

I’ll be honest though - always a good start, I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this, or even if it will last but felt that there may be some interest in my new circumstances - although lets face it they’re hardly unique. I’ll try and look at the challenges created and also some of the opportunities too as well as how things have simply changed.

The other thing I pondered over was where to start this from. In reality my single life began on the morning of 1st August when Trev passed away so suddenly and unexpectedly. However I see little to be gained from dwelling on that period of time - and I shared much of it on social media anyway.

So, instead although I’m going to kick it off from today - the day before I’m back at work at the school as the new term kicks in, I will look back though at the last week - my first week alone in the flat.

There’s been plenty to remind me of the fact that there used to be two of us here. His & his towels and flannels, ditto toothbrush and toothpaste. Trev usually had some fancy shampoo on the go but I never bothered. More often than not we shared a shower gel though, the same with deodorant.

Whilst there’s a cupboard full of mugs we both had our favourites - and they sat on the drainer where we left them in July. The teapot - perfect for two now seemed way oversized. Thankfully we had one of Trev’s Mum’s collection of little teapots - and it’s the perfect size too. Oddly I’d forgotten how much water I used to put in the filter machine to make two mugs of coffee.

In the bedroom there was yet more reminders, not least his mountain of clothes - and to think he used to go on at me the cheeky sod! Whilst disposing of his clothes wont be easy - and I wont do it until I’m ready - I’m looking forward to the wardrobe space. Part of it will be used for more caravan paraphernalia (we don’t have a garage) and there may even ne room for another long leather coat. Or two……

He’d put the houseplants on the dining table before we left to give them as much light as possible. And whilst I knew where one of them went I hadn’t a clue with the other two. And still don’t! Just shows how much notice I took of them!

We had a recliner each in the lounge - black leather - obviously, and of course now one of those is empty. We bought them for our first place together in 2001 and although they’ve done well they’re certainly coming to the end of their life. I’m pondering a change around at some point, bringing either the desk or dining table in from the spare room so it doesn’t feel as big. It will mean too that I can ignore the  telly while using my laptop at the desk - instead of ignoring the telly while using my pad in the recliner!

Right, that’s part 1 - but will there be part 2? Do please let me know what you think and whether you’d carry on reading if I continued. What - if anything - do you want to hear about? Perhaps you would prefer a vlog rather than a blog post and I can see that might work. Above all be honest - if you think it’s a non-starter say so, I can take it. My shoulders are broad - figuratively anyway…




  1. A very honest write up Rich. Definitely keep writing. Its crazy how much the small things remind you of someone when they have gone.

    Keep up the good work,



  2. Keep going Richard I like the blog more than a vlog as it's seems more personal.

  3. I would always read your blogs as I find them interesting and it’s nice to share your experience as I’m sure it will happen to us all one day 😔❤️

  4. Keep up the blogs please Rich, we all care and it's nice to know how you're doing and feeling. I hope you do part 2

  5. Yeah keep up the blogs Rich its great to read them I will have to come and visit some time soon too! Loads of love mate

  6. I think it's good therapy for you, I found it interesting too. As everyone is saying it lets people know how you are doing.

  7. Very honest and please carry on. I think it might help you. And if you come up North will make you a meal and have a few beers. Love Juliet and Phil

  8. Keep it up matey! A new normal will take a lot of getting used to but I'm sure you'll get there in your own sweet time.

  9. Definitely keep it up Rich. It benefits many people who have either gone through the same as you or will do in the future, plus it will help you to move through these challenging times. Only one thing, as a vegan, do you really need another leather coat?! Perhaps something more animal friendly in future? Seriously though, please don't stop the blog, it is interesting and nicely written.

  10. Please keep it going. It's good to know you're ok and sharing how you deal with your loss will help others too. Good luck with your writings x

  11. I tend to follow you on Facebook rather than here, only because I am more on Facebook, but reading this has been really interesting, we only met you both once at Crystal Palace on New Years and you were both so welcoming, I guess all of us in long term marriages wonder how we would deal with becoming alone and your words here help us explore that. You have been through our worst nightmare and your courage and resilience is amazing, it says so much about you. It is of great interest and valuable to many.